March 20,2014
Outside my window...
...is sunshine! This winter has been brutal in regards to the snow and cold. We have not had a many gloomy days as we normally have in the winter, but overall I am glad to say good-bye to this winter. It is still cold, but it has a different feel to it - less bitter. Of course, it could be my imagination and overarching yearning for the mild days of spring. But today there is bright sun.
I am thinking...
...about all the things I want to do this spring and summer. I want to spend more time outside with the kiddos planting flowers and veggies. I want to savor the fresh flavor of a homegrown harvest. I want to continue my quest for simplifying my life, including unloading even more physical stuff that I really don't need. I want to get back into my exercise program and shed some weight so I can have lots of fun walking in the Cancer Walk in honor of my dad in September. I am thinking about all the things I have to look forward to, and not living under the shadow of grief that has been my companion for the last 2 years.
I am thankful...
...for hope. Hope is the basis of my life. Hope is born out of my faith in the love and redemption offered by God. That hope and faith takes away so much of the fear that has ruled my life for so many years. Nothing can take away the bad things that are going to occur in this world, but it does give me the ability to look past them and realize that I don't have rely on myself. It also gives me the comfort that whatever I am going through is for a larger purpose.
In the kitchen...
...nothing much is happening. We need to really get back on menu planning wagon to make the most of our food dollars and to ensure we are making healthy choices. We need to plan out some freezer meals and get those prepared so we don't fall back on comfort food.
I am wearing...
...jammies. Today is one of those days that spring will put a stop. When it is so cold that I don't really want to take a shower, when the it is so cold that I know no one is going to be dropping in for a visit. Those days result in laziness and being totally unproductive. I am not saying that those days don't have their place, because they do. But recently those days are becoming the norm instead of the treat.
I am creating...
...fun scrapbooks about the adoption journeys for each of the Cubs. I have given myself permission not to create a work of art on every page and just get those memories down. It is so freeing and I am actually creating better pages than ever before.
I am going...
...to relax and enjoy the simple moments for awhile. I have been working towards things for so long with my rest days more of an escape where I hide instead of savor and enjoy. So this month of increased sun and milder weather are going to be about all about creating precious moments to reflect on and relive in the future.
I am wondering...
...if I am ever going to have a quiet few minutes to get my work done. The cubs have been in my office every couple of moment ALL MORNING! I am thankful that they want my input and my help. I need to never forget that these moments are fleeting and will soon be over and I will wonder why my house is so quiet!
I am reading...
...a book about a Ukrainian man's life from pre-WWII to almost present time - Sliding On The Snow Stone. It is sometimes hard to read because I really don't want to face that people have and still do live like this. But overall it is a story of how he adapts and makes the best of what is given to him. I am currently about 3/4 of the way through the book. I would highly recommend it!. I am also working my way through all 4 of the gospels during Lent.
I am hoping...
...for some calm and routine. I feel as if life has been nothing but running in crisis mode for so long. I am really working to relax and "go with the flow" instead of panicking. A retreat that I helped present last weekend really helped me with that. While my life is never going to be routine and scheduled, I can shut down the adrenaline a bit and just enjoy.
I am looking forward to...
...getting my desk cleared off and my office rearranged for more efficiency. Homeschooling the Cubs has been a learning process. One of the learning things is how to be effective at my income earning job as well as meeting the needs of the Cubs at the same time. Having a bit more organization so everything does not end up on my desk will go a long way in my productivity!
I am learning...
...that perfection does not matter, memories do. I would never call myself perfect. I would call myself a control addict, though. The unfortunate thing is that since getting married I have not been in control of anything. Control and perfectionism, I have realized, go hand in hand. Because I have not been a been able to do things the way I want them done, it is easier to not do them at all. Well, life will pass by and I will have achieved nothing except living in a messy house! It has taken me a lot of years to get this lesson through my head. But now that I am learning it, I am eager to embrace new opportunities, create more memories, and laugh at myself!
Around the house...
...I am picking and choosing which projects I want to tackle. The big one right now is my office and the kitchen. I need to figure out how to get rid of the clutter in both rooms and make them more efficient in order for the family to spend less time looking for things and more time doing!
I am pondering...
...what curriculum to use for the Cubs next year and feeling a bit overwhelmed.
A favorite quote for today...
From very early on, Christian theologians and spiritual writers made a comparison between Jesus' cleansing of the temple in Jerusalem and Jesus' cleansing of our hearts and bodies. St. Paul refers to the body as a "temple of the Holy Spirit." Your self, your body, your whole person is meant to be a temple, a holy place where God dwells and where prayer and union with God is central. It's a beautiful image: rightly ordered, we become temples of the Holy Spirit.
This image leads to an important question: what goes wrong within the temple of our souls? The same thing that went wrong with the Temple in Jerusalem--what's meant to be a house of prayer becomes a den of thieves. All kinds of distractions came into the Temple, money changers and corrupt influences, those who turned people away from worshiping God.
Today, we should ask, what distractions and corruptions have come into the temple of my heart and body?
Lent is a terrific time to allow Jesus Christ to make a whip of cords and come into the temple of our hearts, and, while there, to turn some tables over, to flip things upside down if he has to.
What would Jesus chase out of your heart if he had a chance? If you let him in, with all the wonderful fury displayed in the Gospels, what would he cleanse?
(Fr. Robert Barron)
One of my favorite things...
...snuggling with the Cubs while reading the Bible out loud to them.
A few plans for the rest of the week:
1) Getting my work reports completed
2) Clearing off my desk
3) Getting rid of the clothes the Cubs have outgrown
4) Having Papa Bear get to work fixing my grandfather's desk to get it moved into the office
5) Creating a menu plan
6) Getting some recipes in page protectors and into a notebook
A peek into my day...
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| My little work companion. Baby Bear was concerned that this little sweetie was not feeling well and was lonely. She sat on my desk corner for most of the day nibbling and dozing. Who would have thought that a week ago I would be enjoying the company of a rodent?! |
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| Sunshine so bright I had to keep the blinds closed so that I could work and no be blinded by the back-light! |
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